Grateful for a paradigm shift

Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm attempting to rearrange my life so that I'll be able to do the things I need to do, while at the same time, be able to do the things I would like to do.   So my husband and I have sat down and prioritized our  obligations and our grand ideas and I think we've come up with a few ideas to make everything work.

For instance, I'm going to get everything done that I need to in the mornings, thus leaving my afternoons to relax and play with the kids. Evenings will be family time (unless I'm working), and weekends will be spent looking for houses and going on family outings.  Work-out times will be scheduled in the mornings (I'm thinking I'd like to do water aerobics again) at 8:30 am after we drop Chris off at work.  That will give me enough time to fit that in, and still go about the rest of the day.

Anyways, we're also looking into getting the girls bunk-beds for Christmas so I can take down their toddler beds. So looking into the types of bunk beds that the girls would need (and also making sure that the beds convert into two twin size beds) has become next on the to-do-list.

Our family has many changes to look forward to, but they are all good changes. Furthermore, these shifts in the status quo can only be good for the kids as they experience changes in school and other areas starting next year.  It will also force me to focus on prioritizing, so I don't push the family too hard, but also effectively manage our time during the week.

I hope that everyone will have a great Thanksgiving and wish us luck as we attempt to navigate through this new paradigm shift!

Domicile Discussion

Hello!
Since Halloween, I have decided that I would like to buy a house for my little family by Spring 2013.  I don't yet know which neighborhoods as of yet, but I do know that I would like at least three bedrooms, and 1100 square feet.  I'm flexible with floor plans, however, my husband and I are torn between buying a cheaper fixer-upper or to buy a more expensive newer home that needs little in terms of repairs.  We of course want to save money, but we would also like to make the best decision for our future, even if that means no longer renting.
Any thoughts?  We're obviously new to this process and want to avoid the pitfalls that happen to first-time homebuyers, but because we're not in any rush to buy a house, I think we'll be able to find the location and style of house that gives us the biggest bang for our buck sometime in the next six to nine months.  In the meantime, I would welcome any advice and suggestions.  Thanks!

How do you Halloween?

With Halloween a week away, I'm starting to consider what to do about pumpkin carving, what the girls should wear under their costumes to stay warm, and what activities I should pencil into the calendar to make this year fun for the five and three year old.

Pumpkins are, of course, the biggest challenge, but I think that so long as everyone gets to pick their own (with the condition that they can carry it themselves), and we have paints for the girls and pumpkin carving kits for the adults, I think we'll be just fine. Still no ideas yet.

Although the kids have been asking for weeks about Halloween, my husband and I are also getting excited about dressing up and taking the kids around the neighborhood. I hope it doesn't rain (or snow), but even if it does, we can work around that (see below). :-)

I'll of course take millions of pictures, and I'm assuming that everything will go well. I wish everyone a happy and safe Halloween this year! Take care and have fun!

"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather,

an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world." --Jean Baudrillard

Energizing Epiphany, Encouraging Enlightenment

Well I did get my wake-up call.
It took a few weeks, but I now feel like I have a better direction for my life, rather than the mixed jumble of half-plans that I seemed to be struggling with for the past three months or so.  Instead than coming gradually, like I half expected the newly discovered ideas to do, I was hit one evening with several new ideas that materialized over the course of just a few hours.  Perhaps it was because I was distracted long enough to not agonize over the details, that the picture became clear. Or perhaps it was because I was mentally quiet enough to allow the thoughts to wash over me, unrestrained by my constant to-do-list. Either way, I'm grateful for the insights that peeked their way into my brain that allowed for a paradigm shift in perspective and priorities.

So I've decided to accept the following changes in my life:
-My family life will continue as usual, but with greater emphasis on the physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of everyone these next few months.
-Work will also continue for the next two weeks, until I am able to advance to the supervisory and/or managerial positions, at which time our family schedules will be adjusted accordingly and continue throughout 2012.
-I will begin to take non-matriculated classes starting in January, and will begin the process of studying for the October GRE and LSAT exams in April.  Further classes will be taken as needed in September and applications for graduate schools will be completed by Thanksgiving of next year.
-After the start of 2013, greater efforts will be made on the research aspect of my book, and subsequent related chapters will be written.
-Preparations for accommodating grad school will begin in the spring of 2013.
-For now, I will focus on preparing for the changes, and helping the girls to get ready for the next school year, and maximizing our family's edification.

When I need to be reminded of something, the easiest way to do so is through music.  I think most clearly when I have music playing in the background, and more often than not the lyrics to various songs are applied to my life on almost a daily basis. So it comes as no surprise, that on the night when everything I've been worrying about fell into place, I also heard the following song for the first time as well, and I've included the lyrics below:

Keeping Sheep

Lynne Perry Christofferson

I have a little flock of sheep

And they are mine to tend and keep.

And I must guard them everyday,

For little lambs, when left alone, will lose their way.

So many voices say to me,

A sheep-fold is no place to be

Your time spent there is dull and slow

And lambs leave very little room for you to grow.

Well if I ever start to stray

Deceived by thoughts of greener pastures

Remind me Lord that keeping sheep

Will lead to happier ever-afters.

Oh surely there will come a day

when all the lambs have left my side

and I am free to roam about

and go exploring other meadows, green and wide.

Yet something whispers in heart

That when my sheep have left this pen

I’ll long to stroke their little heads

To draw them close to me

And have them young again.

So if I ever start to stray

Deceived by thoughts of greener pastures

Remind me Lord that keeping sheep

Will lead to happier ever-afters.

So while they still are in my care

I pray that I will clearly see

These little lambs within my fold

Are tender gifts the Master Shepherd has given me.

On the off chance that I find the right picture to illustrate this beautiful metaphor, I'll send a framed copy of this song to each of you as well. :-)

I'm encouraged by the direction I'm taking in life, and I love that I have a family who is not only willing to share the ride with me, but also to make the journey so much more enjoyable.  Whatever happens these next two years or so, I'm glad I have them in my corner, and I hope I'll always cherish them in the manner that they deserve.

Delusions of Grandeur

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”  - Mark Twain


Perhaps it is both a blessing and a curse that I have had the opportunity to be constantly surrounded by people who are uplifting, encouraging, and successful. As a result, I have nurtured a healthy does of ambition, and have been raised to believe that I can achieve anything I set my mind to if I am willing to work hard enough.  The reason why this great blessing is such a curse, because I find myself wanting to do more, much more.  
My parents were able to instill in me the value of education, not solely to make more money, but rather to help as many people as possible while doing what I am are passionate about.  My parents love what they do, and while it was not easy for them to raise a family while pursuing bachelor's and master's degrees, they wouldn't have done it any other way.  They effectively balanced our family life with school, and were successful in doing so. Consequently, I grew up thinking that if my parents can do it, then I can do the same.  Which, not surprisingly, I did.  Deciding to get married and have a family in college may seem like suicide to some, but it was all I knew, so that's how I did it.  I have two beautiful girls, a happy marriage of almost seven years, and a Bachelor's degree in the academic discipline I am most passionate about, History.  So what's the problem?


“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”  - Thomas Jefferson


I don't like bragging about my accomplishments (despite the previous paragraph), but I needed to use it as an example of what my sudo-problem is, and more importantly, what I plan on doing about it.  I want to obtain a joint Masters' Degree in Public Administration and Law in the next five to seven years. This is not necessarily a problem, per say, but it would require many logistical factors to be taken into consideration. Fortunately, I have an incredibly supportive husband who loves me for my ambition, although he puts up with my many delusions of grandeur. He, of course, has his own ambitions of going to Grad school and achieve a Masters in Architecture, also in five to seven years, so we're currently researching universities that have the programs that I want, coupled with the accreditation that he needs. So what's the problem? 
Ambition feeds on itself. I trying to find happiness in my everyday life and be content with what I have currently, but I keep wanting more. More education, more experience, more edification. While I love my life, family, and current situation, I would still like to take my ambitions off of the shelf where I temporarily placed them and conquer my life long to-do-list.  I don't NEED more education, but I WANT more education. I don't NEED to write a book, but I WANT to write a book. I don't NEED to become a virtuoso harpist, but that's what I WANT.   The more I surround myself with great people who have done the impossible, the more I want to do the same.  Juggling between needs and wants, and prioritizing them into "essential", "necessary", and "nice-to-do" categories is what I'm currently working on, but this life is so short that I want to fill it up with as many experiences as I can.  Does this make sense?


“To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition.”  - Samuel Johnson


There is nothing greater I can do in this life than helping my girls reach their potential and to know that they are loved and supported in their ambitions. But how can I do that when I want to lead by example and show then how to dust off ambitions? Where is the balance between doing something for me to teach them how to bring ambitions to fruition, and stepping back from my own selfishness and letting them explore this world at their pace and let them do their own thing?  I'm just worried that I'll always want more. That if I'm not enough without it (the degrees, the prestige, the diverse accomplishments), I'll never be enough with it. At what point will I want to stop learning, growing, progressing? I think never.  That bothers me to a certain degree, because I try to be so careful to enjoy the here and now and not always look to the future. But at the same time, I'm constantly planning for the future so I can prepare for the time when it is right to achieve my desires.  
I think this this is the crux of the matter. I want to stretch mysef, but not at the expense of my family.  But I won't know what my family can handle if I don't attempt to stretch them as well.  The girls can handle more at the age of seven and nine than they can a three and five, which is why I'm considering changing our situation at that point, but not before then. So we're practicing for the time being by having me work nights and weekends, so they get used to the idea of me leaving for work/school, but they know that I'm around during the days. Once they start kindergarten and first grade, our paradigm will shift again. I want to anticipate these changes in our family, and help cultivate them for good (to make the most of them), and if possible, fit my own ambitions into the cracks and free time created by public education.  We'll see.


Thanks for humoring this rant. Hopefully I'll figure out how to balance my ambitions with my life. Perhaps I'll get some sense knocked into me soon. :-) Take care!

If I die before I wake...

For the record, "Baby Blues" has been my favorite comic strip for the past five years or so, (coincidentally enough, that's how old my eldest daughter is...), and not just because I look and act like Wanda and my husband looks and acts like Darryl, but because I find that there is a comic strip for virtually every marital and parental situation that exists. 

For instance, my husband and I were talking one night and the topic of spousal death came up (despite how morbid the topic can be, we were actually having a great conversation).  We decided not only what the funeral arrangements would be, but also how the surviving spouse would deal with widow/widower status. The discussion further led to the topic of remarriage and what type of step-parent we wanted for our girls, which of course led to the topic of what we would do-over in the dating department (should the situation ever present itself).

We came to the conclusion that having a spouse die and the subsequent grieving, singleness, dating, remarriage, and family-blending that follows takes so much effort that we'd much rather be lazy just go through life together knowing that we're better off together than ever apart, and just pray that we never have to experience widow/widower-ness until we're closer to 100 instead of 30 years old.  So here's to hoping for a long life with my husband!

Living in Limbo

Hey Everyone!
For the past three weeks, my family and I have been living in a constant state of "limbo-ness". We know what direction we want our family to take and which activities we want the girls to participate in, however those decisions must be put on hold, while we analyze the difference financially between part-time work and full-time work with childcare.  In essence, I have the opportunity to go back to work, (I'm of course waiting to hear back from various potential employers), but I'm trying to figure out if working full-time is worth the price to pay for someone else raising my kids, or if part-time work is worth the logistical juggling I would have to do everyday to balance four different schedules.  This leaves me in a catch-22 because I cannot start the girls in their activities which would strengthen their development until I start working, but by going to work, I am no longer with them to oversee that development as throughly as I would like.  Of course, if my husband were to suddenly have a ten thousand dollar increase in pay this would be a moot point, but as things stand now, I'm forced to make the best decision for my family based on what I feel would solve the highest number of problems without creating a new set of problems.
My family and I have a financial plan in place that will allow us to do what we need to do, and pay off all our bills on just my husband's salary, however, we'll be able to pay things off faster and still have money left over to play with if I was to work. Which brings me back to my original dilemma.  Work full-time or work part-time?  Obviously this needs more thought and more pieces need to fall into place. But in the meantime I'm learning that true maturity is being able to live with constant ambiguity.
In theory I'll have more of a set schedule by the end of September, but in the meantime, living in limbo has become life.

Tenacious Pines and Stubborn Falls

My family and I spent the weekend enjoying nature this past weekend, and we hiked up Big Cottonwood Canyon to explore the majestic beauty of the mountains in the Wasatch Range.  One of the hikes that we explored was Donut Falls.  The Falls are surrounded by beautiful trees, mountainscapes and grandeur, but that's not what makes them special.   The water, over several hundred years, has cut an almost perfect circle in the middle of a wall of granite, thus the name Donut Falls.
This stubborn water, which collects together as run-off year after year, has eroded away the land enough so that it may run freely from the tops of the mountains to the valley below, unhindered and undeviating from its course.

While my family and I were marveling about the sheer power of the water that  kept flowing through the rock and the beautiful backdrop it created, I was reminded of another seemingly impossible task that nature has somehow overcome and how life has found a way to thrive in another hostile environment.

I'm referring to the Bristlecone Pines in Central Utah, some of the oldest trees in the entire world.

These are ugly, small trees whose roots are gnarled, needles are sharp, and live in the mountainous desert of Central Utah and Nevada.  Despite their appearance, these Bristlecones are among the oldest trees in the world, with an average age of about 1500 years.  These trees endure an environment consisting of harsh, windy winters and scorching summers. Little water, rocky soil, and constant extremes in temperature make it virtually impossible for any other plant life to survive, thus the Bristlecones are left with little competition for the scarce resources. The windblown trees are weathered and beaten by the climate, yet they survive year after year, and generation after generation. They thrive where no other plants can survive.

So my point is that despite our circumstances, and where we are in life, we can always choose how we will respond to life's difficulties.  And how we choose to respond to our challenges is a manifestation of our character.  We can be resilient, despite the challenges. It may take years to build up that resiliency, but we have the tools necessary for weathering life's storms and dead-ends.  We may end up ugly, windblown, and weathered down from exposure, but we know our roots are strong, thus we are able to survive anything. We can overcome any challenge, even if that means cutting through a wall of granite using nothing more than water and gravity.

C.S. Lewis once said, "Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature."  Water cuts a perfect hole in a solid wall of granite. Trees live for thousands of years in an environment that kills off all other vegetation.  Miracles happen everywhere, and it's the majesty of the Earth that never ceases to leave me in awe and be grateful that I can live amidst such beauty and share that grandeur with my children.

"Mars Needs Moms" Mothering Musings

I had the opportunity to watch Disney's "Mars needs Moms" today with my daughters. Basically, a boy's mother gets kidnapped by aliens who want to use said mother for her discipline. The aliens are convinced that they can isolate and capture the "discipline" gene that Mom's seem to have, so that they can use it to create order to the future generations of aliens. The boy follows his mother onto the alien's spaceship and ends up in Mars, where he quickly discovers that the ruling body of aliens are all females. Females run the government, make up the army, and use state of the art technology to help them raise the next generation of females.  The male aliens, on the other hand, are ostracized and sent to live underground (think of Plato's "Republic" with the cave allegory) where they raise the baby boy aliens that have been rejected by the females.  The common contrast between the female and male societies is that the females live in a world of light and order, but are strictly controlled. The males on the other hand, live in a world the is predominately dark and chaotic, but the men are the "huggers" and embrace fun and family playtime.  By the end of the movie, the boy is able to not only save his Mom, but convince the aliens that the baby aliens deserve to grow up in a world that consists of both chaos and order, light and dark, but to ultimately feel the love and support from both parents.
I was struck, and not for the first time either, by the thought that once again, Disney has nailed a social commentary. While women are naturally more nurturing, men also play a vital role in the lives of children. At times I think I can handle doing all the parenting for my girls without my husband around, or at least do it in a more efficient and orderly manner, but that doesn't make it more effective. The girls love spending time with their Dad, and although his parenting techniques might be different than mine, we are both striving for the same goal: to help our daughters become well adjusted members of society, high-functioning, and happy.  It will take both of us to do this properly and I have every intention on giving my girls what they need and deserve.
On a less philosophical note, the girls thought it was strange that the boy could defy gravity on Mars and jump really high without getting hurt. Go Disney for glossing over the cuts and bruises associated with being the protagonist.

"Helping Hands" Head Trip

Since I was about 14 years old, I've had a business concept in my head, which I've spent the last decade perfecting on and off.  Mostly, this idea came to me and my mother and we've been figuring out how to turn this into something real.  Basically, it is a wellness clinic, dedicated to helping others in a safe and comfortable environment.  But its main function is to bringing balance, peace, and harmony to an individual either by mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual means.  This is the business's mission statement and every aspect of the buiness model falls within the mission statement and purpose.
I've chosen, but not yet trademarked, the name "Helping Hands".  Of course I'm still brainstorming which font I would use for the letter head. Underneath the company name is its (not yet copyrighted) slogan: "Healing Hearts through Massage, Mental Health, Movement, Music, and Munchies."

I'll explain each of these slogan alliterations (although it should be pretty self-explanatory):
The first service that "Helping Hands" will provide to the public is Massage Therapy.  Six rooms (roughly 10 x15 square feet each) will be dedicated to relaxation through massage for individuals, couples, and expecting mothers. These rooms will optimize quiet, calm, and serenity and will have built-in speakers to allow relaxing music to travel throughout the entire Massage Wing.  Through massage, the clients will be able to relax and ease the physical stress of the day and leave rejuvenated.

The second, to provide Individual, Marriage, and Family Therapy to any clients who come in, and these clients are seen by Licensed MFTs, Clinical Social Workers, and Clinical Phycologists to help them better their Mental Health and relationships.  Roughly 1100 square feet (or four rooms) of the building would be dedicated as private sitting rooms for clients and therapists to meet and talk for an hour or two once a week. These living-room type settings would enable the clients to feel more like they are talking to a friend, rather than feel like a case number.  Strict privacy would insure the confidentiality of the clients as well as the safety of the therapist.

The third aspect is Movement and Merriment.  I want to incorporate a day care for those parents using the facilities. This indoor/outdoor soundproof area will allow the children (ages 6 months to 6 years) to interact with kids of their own age in a safe environment that will carefully supervised by Child Educators and Early-childhood Development Specialists. An outdoor grass and small playground will be tree sheltered, and be roughly 1500 square feet, thus being able to accommodate up to 15 children at any given time.  The indoor play area (for babies and rainy days) will include everything from blocks, books, stuffed animals, and puzzles, and, obviously, include outdoor access. A TV will be wall-mounted to allow for DVDs to be played that are kid-appropriate.  The indoor area will be open, airy, and equipped with a check-in and check-out desk as well as a one-way mirror for the parents to check on their kids without interrupting the playtime.  But all the windows and bearing walls will be soundproof so not to disturb the massage and therapy session going on at the same time. All staff working with children will be screened and security will be in place to assure the protection of all children on site.

The fourth Amenity hypothetically offered by "Helping Hands" would be Music, specifically music lessons.  Here, I want to provide a music room complete with a Baby Grand piano, a Concert Grand Harp and Lever Harp, and various other musical CDs and lesson books for children and adults to come and receive music lessons by trained musicians.  Flute, string instruments, and voice lessons might also be incorporated into the music program. But ultimately, I want to provide a place for local musicians to give live performances to the patrons of "Helping Hands".  Their music will be recorded and broadcasted through the speakers into the massage rooms, waiting rooms, and therapy rooms (with the therapist having the option of turning off the speakers to that room). The musicians then have the option of selling their CDs to the public that comes into the facility.

Lastly, "Helping Hands" will provide Munchies for the guests. A kitchen will be included on site, and at the beginning of everyday, the items on the menu will be baked and cooked.  These food items, will be simple, yet healthy snacks that the clients and patrons can purchase. Of course, small samples will be complementary given, but the food will be visible via coolers and bakery cases, and may purchased at the reception desk, the same with all services.  All staff will be required to have current food handler's permits as well as maintain guest confidentiality.

My vision for "Helping Hands" is to provide a safe place to rejuvenate mind, body, and heart. I want the prices to competitively reflect the services offered, but still be affordable to most everyone. While I still need several more years of thought, education, and collected resources to bring this to fruition, I'm hoping to be able to open ten "Helping Hands" locations around the United States.  I'm still working on the floor plan, but I know that each facility would be at least 2200 square feet, if not bigger, in order to accommodate the various amenities offered.  Once I receive the education I need, I'm hoping to have the first "Helping Hands" up and running smoothly by the time I'm 45 years old.

Well, now that I've laid out my business model to you, please feel free to offer any suggestions and advice on how to improve my vision.  Although I would be most grateful if you not use these ideas to create a similar business. Although if you do, I just ask that you not name it "Helping Hands". Thanks!

26 Goals at age 26

Hi! I've decided to go with my strengths on this next blog post. I am passionate about planning and figuring out logistical details, almost to the point of being fanatical. So I will simply give you a list of the 26 goals I hope to accomplish in the next six years, now that I am 26.  These goals are a combination of personal, family, education, and career goals:

1.  Family pictures every other year (2011, 2013, 2015), kids pictures taken every six months.

2. Start UCMT program either in October 2011 or October 2012 (finish by August 2013)

3. Start working at Resort or Medical field by September 2013

4. Apply to Grad School or Law School (Fall 2016)
5. Finish 72 Hour kits by December 2011
6. Three year old potty-trained by age four (June 2012)
7. Kids taught to read and write at age five (October 2011 and 2013)
8. Bookshelf and filing cabinets organized by December 2011
9. Bunk-beds built by Summer 2012
10. Family SUV purchased in Spring 2013
11. Chicago Concertino Grand Harp ($15,000), purchased in Summer 2013
12. Run half-marathon by July 2012
13. Pay off student loans by December 2013
13. Invest in stock portfolio for each family member each month by June 2014
14. Work part-time by June 2011, full-time by June 2012
15. Buy a house by Fall 2012
16. Get a dog and two cats by Spring 2013
17. Finish research and writing Historical novel by December 2015
18. Run full marathon by Fall 2013
19. Play Harp for 40 functions a year starting in Fall of 2013
20. Family trip to Disneyland in 2013
21. Start Husband's Architecture Grad Program in Fall of 2014
22. Cars paid off by 2014
23. Move out-of-state Summer of 2014
24. Graduate school finished by 2017
25. Novel published by Fall 2016
26. Baby in 2012? 2014?


I like to function in five or six year plans and so by the time I'm thirty, I hope to have most of these accomplished. I'll keep you updated on mine and my family's progress on each of these. 

Idiom as Introduction

Hello!  Welcome to Random Ruminations!
Despite the abundant alliterations, I use writing as a way to relax. Putting thoughts on paper, or in this case, the World Wide Web, allows me to maintain clarity in my thoughts that are frequently scattered in my attempt to raise a three and five year old.
Although I love writing, this is the first blog I've created. Usually, most of my writing consists of thoughts written with pen and paper, word processors, and an occasional opinion editorial.  So while attempting to try out this new media outlet that has swept the world, I find that perhaps this will be a good way to write my thoughts for constructive criticism and feedback from you.
Ultimately, I want this blog to serve three purposes: The first, to allow me to channel my random thoughts into a coherent collaboration of commentaries. Second, to act as a practice for writing to broad audiences and speaking to people of various backgrounds and experiences.  Finally, to get further ideas and insights from others on how to improve my writing techniques and expressions. Thus, building upon their ideas to create concepts that are worthy to be published and brought to fruition.
Given the nature of blogging, this will start out as being followed by those of you who already know me personally, and then perhaps expand from there. But in the meantime, I hope that you will enjoy these random ruminations from A. J. Hanks, and feel free to contact me on ways that I can improve my correspondence with you.
Until the next rumination hits me, I hope you will take care!