Romance Requirements with Offspring

Since having kids, my husband and I rarely celebrate Valentine's Day on February 14th. While he's still thoughtful enough to get me flowers or chocolate/caramel on the official day, we usually go out the weekend before or after to accommodate our schedule and the babysitter's availability. The kids also get a treat and heart-shaped pancakes, but I try to take one day to celebrate the couple who was here before the kids showed up.

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

Charles M. Schulz

"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. " ~Author Unknown

New Year, New Possibilities

Hello Everyone!

It's been a while, and I hope you all had fantastic holidays, and that you are getting used to writing 2012!

Several new shifts and changes have occurred in our family within the last months:

First off, we are pregnant with our third child and I'm officially in my second trimester! It has a been a bit of a roller coaster these last few months as we struggled to wrap our heads around the reality of being parents of three kids.

Second, my kids are starting pre-preschool and Pre-K programs this week, in an effort to prepare them for school before they start Preschool and Kindergarten programs next fall.

Third, I will be switching my evening part-time job with another part-time day job (hence the reason why the kids are in school). While this is a wonderful opportunity to finally use both my experience and my education, it still requires schedule juggling and logistical tweaking. So trying to get all the ducks in a row to make this work will be a bit of a hassle for the first week or so, but then it should work out nicely.

Lastly, my husband is trying to expand his sphere of influence by broadening his design capabilities and market. He hopes to eventually produce and sell his own designs and products that will elevate his name into larger designer circles.

These changes will better our family, but they also require a significant amount of coordination with a dash of insanity. However, we are blessed with these opportunities and look forward to this next stage in our lives!

Grateful for a paradigm shift

Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm attempting to rearrange my life so that I'll be able to do the things I need to do, while at the same time, be able to do the things I would like to do.   So my husband and I have sat down and prioritized our  obligations and our grand ideas and I think we've come up with a few ideas to make everything work.

For instance, I'm going to get everything done that I need to in the mornings, thus leaving my afternoons to relax and play with the kids. Evenings will be family time (unless I'm working), and weekends will be spent looking for houses and going on family outings.  Work-out times will be scheduled in the mornings (I'm thinking I'd like to do water aerobics again) at 8:30 am after we drop Chris off at work.  That will give me enough time to fit that in, and still go about the rest of the day.

Anyways, we're also looking into getting the girls bunk-beds for Christmas so I can take down their toddler beds. So looking into the types of bunk beds that the girls would need (and also making sure that the beds convert into two twin size beds) has become next on the to-do-list.

Our family has many changes to look forward to, but they are all good changes. Furthermore, these shifts in the status quo can only be good for the kids as they experience changes in school and other areas starting next year.  It will also force me to focus on prioritizing, so I don't push the family too hard, but also effectively manage our time during the week.

I hope that everyone will have a great Thanksgiving and wish us luck as we attempt to navigate through this new paradigm shift!

Domicile Discussion

Hello!
Since Halloween, I have decided that I would like to buy a house for my little family by Spring 2013.  I don't yet know which neighborhoods as of yet, but I do know that I would like at least three bedrooms, and 1100 square feet.  I'm flexible with floor plans, however, my husband and I are torn between buying a cheaper fixer-upper or to buy a more expensive newer home that needs little in terms of repairs.  We of course want to save money, but we would also like to make the best decision for our future, even if that means no longer renting.
Any thoughts?  We're obviously new to this process and want to avoid the pitfalls that happen to first-time homebuyers, but because we're not in any rush to buy a house, I think we'll be able to find the location and style of house that gives us the biggest bang for our buck sometime in the next six to nine months.  In the meantime, I would welcome any advice and suggestions.  Thanks!

How do you Halloween?

With Halloween a week away, I'm starting to consider what to do about pumpkin carving, what the girls should wear under their costumes to stay warm, and what activities I should pencil into the calendar to make this year fun for the five and three year old.

Pumpkins are, of course, the biggest challenge, but I think that so long as everyone gets to pick their own (with the condition that they can carry it themselves), and we have paints for the girls and pumpkin carving kits for the adults, I think we'll be just fine. Still no ideas yet.

Although the kids have been asking for weeks about Halloween, my husband and I are also getting excited about dressing up and taking the kids around the neighborhood. I hope it doesn't rain (or snow), but even if it does, we can work around that (see below). :-)

I'll of course take millions of pictures, and I'm assuming that everything will go well. I wish everyone a happy and safe Halloween this year! Take care and have fun!

"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather,

an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world." --Jean Baudrillard

Energizing Epiphany, Encouraging Enlightenment

Well I did get my wake-up call.
It took a few weeks, but I now feel like I have a better direction for my life, rather than the mixed jumble of half-plans that I seemed to be struggling with for the past three months or so.  Instead than coming gradually, like I half expected the newly discovered ideas to do, I was hit one evening with several new ideas that materialized over the course of just a few hours.  Perhaps it was because I was distracted long enough to not agonize over the details, that the picture became clear. Or perhaps it was because I was mentally quiet enough to allow the thoughts to wash over me, unrestrained by my constant to-do-list. Either way, I'm grateful for the insights that peeked their way into my brain that allowed for a paradigm shift in perspective and priorities.

So I've decided to accept the following changes in my life:
-My family life will continue as usual, but with greater emphasis on the physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of everyone these next few months.
-Work will also continue for the next two weeks, until I am able to advance to the supervisory and/or managerial positions, at which time our family schedules will be adjusted accordingly and continue throughout 2012.
-I will begin to take non-matriculated classes starting in January, and will begin the process of studying for the October GRE and LSAT exams in April.  Further classes will be taken as needed in September and applications for graduate schools will be completed by Thanksgiving of next year.
-After the start of 2013, greater efforts will be made on the research aspect of my book, and subsequent related chapters will be written.
-Preparations for accommodating grad school will begin in the spring of 2013.
-For now, I will focus on preparing for the changes, and helping the girls to get ready for the next school year, and maximizing our family's edification.

When I need to be reminded of something, the easiest way to do so is through music.  I think most clearly when I have music playing in the background, and more often than not the lyrics to various songs are applied to my life on almost a daily basis. So it comes as no surprise, that on the night when everything I've been worrying about fell into place, I also heard the following song for the first time as well, and I've included the lyrics below:

Keeping Sheep

Lynne Perry Christofferson

I have a little flock of sheep

And they are mine to tend and keep.

And I must guard them everyday,

For little lambs, when left alone, will lose their way.

So many voices say to me,

A sheep-fold is no place to be

Your time spent there is dull and slow

And lambs leave very little room for you to grow.

Well if I ever start to stray

Deceived by thoughts of greener pastures

Remind me Lord that keeping sheep

Will lead to happier ever-afters.

Oh surely there will come a day

when all the lambs have left my side

and I am free to roam about

and go exploring other meadows, green and wide.

Yet something whispers in heart

That when my sheep have left this pen

I’ll long to stroke their little heads

To draw them close to me

And have them young again.

So if I ever start to stray

Deceived by thoughts of greener pastures

Remind me Lord that keeping sheep

Will lead to happier ever-afters.

So while they still are in my care

I pray that I will clearly see

These little lambs within my fold

Are tender gifts the Master Shepherd has given me.

On the off chance that I find the right picture to illustrate this beautiful metaphor, I'll send a framed copy of this song to each of you as well. :-)

I'm encouraged by the direction I'm taking in life, and I love that I have a family who is not only willing to share the ride with me, but also to make the journey so much more enjoyable.  Whatever happens these next two years or so, I'm glad I have them in my corner, and I hope I'll always cherish them in the manner that they deserve.

Delusions of Grandeur

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”  - Mark Twain


Perhaps it is both a blessing and a curse that I have had the opportunity to be constantly surrounded by people who are uplifting, encouraging, and successful. As a result, I have nurtured a healthy does of ambition, and have been raised to believe that I can achieve anything I set my mind to if I am willing to work hard enough.  The reason why this great blessing is such a curse, because I find myself wanting to do more, much more.  
My parents were able to instill in me the value of education, not solely to make more money, but rather to help as many people as possible while doing what I am are passionate about.  My parents love what they do, and while it was not easy for them to raise a family while pursuing bachelor's and master's degrees, they wouldn't have done it any other way.  They effectively balanced our family life with school, and were successful in doing so. Consequently, I grew up thinking that if my parents can do it, then I can do the same.  Which, not surprisingly, I did.  Deciding to get married and have a family in college may seem like suicide to some, but it was all I knew, so that's how I did it.  I have two beautiful girls, a happy marriage of almost seven years, and a Bachelor's degree in the academic discipline I am most passionate about, History.  So what's the problem?


“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”  - Thomas Jefferson


I don't like bragging about my accomplishments (despite the previous paragraph), but I needed to use it as an example of what my sudo-problem is, and more importantly, what I plan on doing about it.  I want to obtain a joint Masters' Degree in Public Administration and Law in the next five to seven years. This is not necessarily a problem, per say, but it would require many logistical factors to be taken into consideration. Fortunately, I have an incredibly supportive husband who loves me for my ambition, although he puts up with my many delusions of grandeur. He, of course, has his own ambitions of going to Grad school and achieve a Masters in Architecture, also in five to seven years, so we're currently researching universities that have the programs that I want, coupled with the accreditation that he needs. So what's the problem? 
Ambition feeds on itself. I trying to find happiness in my everyday life and be content with what I have currently, but I keep wanting more. More education, more experience, more edification. While I love my life, family, and current situation, I would still like to take my ambitions off of the shelf where I temporarily placed them and conquer my life long to-do-list.  I don't NEED more education, but I WANT more education. I don't NEED to write a book, but I WANT to write a book. I don't NEED to become a virtuoso harpist, but that's what I WANT.   The more I surround myself with great people who have done the impossible, the more I want to do the same.  Juggling between needs and wants, and prioritizing them into "essential", "necessary", and "nice-to-do" categories is what I'm currently working on, but this life is so short that I want to fill it up with as many experiences as I can.  Does this make sense?


“To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition.”  - Samuel Johnson


There is nothing greater I can do in this life than helping my girls reach their potential and to know that they are loved and supported in their ambitions. But how can I do that when I want to lead by example and show then how to dust off ambitions? Where is the balance between doing something for me to teach them how to bring ambitions to fruition, and stepping back from my own selfishness and letting them explore this world at their pace and let them do their own thing?  I'm just worried that I'll always want more. That if I'm not enough without it (the degrees, the prestige, the diverse accomplishments), I'll never be enough with it. At what point will I want to stop learning, growing, progressing? I think never.  That bothers me to a certain degree, because I try to be so careful to enjoy the here and now and not always look to the future. But at the same time, I'm constantly planning for the future so I can prepare for the time when it is right to achieve my desires.  
I think this this is the crux of the matter. I want to stretch mysef, but not at the expense of my family.  But I won't know what my family can handle if I don't attempt to stretch them as well.  The girls can handle more at the age of seven and nine than they can a three and five, which is why I'm considering changing our situation at that point, but not before then. So we're practicing for the time being by having me work nights and weekends, so they get used to the idea of me leaving for work/school, but they know that I'm around during the days. Once they start kindergarten and first grade, our paradigm will shift again. I want to anticipate these changes in our family, and help cultivate them for good (to make the most of them), and if possible, fit my own ambitions into the cracks and free time created by public education.  We'll see.


Thanks for humoring this rant. Hopefully I'll figure out how to balance my ambitions with my life. Perhaps I'll get some sense knocked into me soon. :-) Take care!